Anger, disgust, joy, fear, and sadness. We all experience the same feelings but how do we start this conversation with our kids? Talking about feelings is so important for children. Have you ever heard the phrase “name it to tame it”? If you can’t name what it is you are feeling, it’s hard to manage it properly. Teaching children how to identify their feelings and actually talking about them is not easy. What we learn about feelings starts at home. So let’s start with 4 practical tips that parents and caregivers can use today to start talking about feelings so that kids will actually talk back to us!
- How do you talk about your feelings? Yes, I am talking to you moms,dads, and caregivers. Before we even attempt to teach our children about something, we have to take inventory of that very thing in our own lives. Can you easily identify how you are feeling most days? Can you articulate to someone else what you feel and why you feel that way? It’s not always easy for adults either. So, check in with yourself first. Be mindful of how feelings show up in your own life and how you usually express them first.
- What is it that you want your child to know about feelings? What is the message you want to send to your child about feelings? Do you want your child to know that all feelings are normal and healthy? Do you want your child to feel safe coming to you about whatever he or she is feeling? Do you want your child to know that there are safe and healthy ways to express all feelings? Get clear about what it is you want your child to know.
- Make it FUN! If it isn’t fun and engaging then most children are going to check out before you even get started. Play! Here is one quick and simple way to play while you talk about feelings that you can try today.
- Feelings Toss: grab a ball and toss it back and forth with your child. Each time a player catches the ball, they are asked to name a feeling word. See how long you can toss it back and forth without repeating an answer. When you run out of answers, introduce a new feeling to your child and talk about what it means, show them how that feeling might look on a person’s face, or give them an example of what may cause a person to feel that way.
- Let them see it in ACTION! Point out to your child when you feel things and model for them how to talk about their feelings. Keep it simple.
- “Mommy feels sad right now because ________”
- “I feel so happy to see you, I missed you today”
- “Oh boy, Daddy feels angry right now, I need to take a deep breath”
- “I feel excited about our movie night tonight”
- “I feel confused, I need to ask for help”
This is a great place to start with your children. Do your best to talk about feelings everyday and model for your child how you want them to talk about and express their own feelings. If you need more help with teaching your child about feelings or if you are in the middle of a difficult situation with your child, call me for a free 10 minute phone consult to determine if therapy is right for you. You can also book online here too.
Be Well,
Cathy
{photo credit given to RainbowPegDolls. If you think these are the cutest little peg dolls you have ever seen and want a set for your home you can find them in her shop}